Are You a Man on OK-Cupid, or Any Other Dating Website? Check these *4* NO-NO’s
Disclaimer: This is not an exhaustive guide and it represents the opinions of yours truly, and women who think like me, which is a bunch of us, but not all. I know this because some of the stories that I hear depict women who are strange and bizarre in behavior. Women of quality do not behave in that way. (But you must be and bring quality yourself).
My experiences are with gents who span the ages between early 30s to mid 70s. I could be tempted to say something foolish like “such and such age group are the worst”, but that may not be true. I think it would be more accurate to say that some maladies affect in disregard of AGE.
I find that people may be more or less categorized on the basis of different interests, but I have not found any particular “interest” that makes men immune to some of these “viruses”.
A woman posts a profile, and, modesty aside, it is not a bad one. She also posts a picture, and she just knows that most respondents will be without any substance. (It is bitter-sweet).
Dear gentlemen,
No-No #1:
Do not simply write to say:
“hi”,
“hello beautiful”,
“how’s your day going?”,
“hi, your really cute” (yes, totally misspelled); or, God forbid:
“I liked your profile and wondered if we could talk and see where things go”… (I can tell you where they’ll go right now).
Why this is a No-No
Because none of these are response-worthy.
I’m just the messenger, and I am telling why some women don’t respond to those kinds of messages: because they are not thoughtful; they don’t show that you put any effort at all, it looks like you are just flipping photos on your phone; — and that image is not interesting or attractive.
But, if on the other hand, you read the profile thoroughly and respond with your sincere thoughts about it, and commentary about your own life that may relate to her profile, etc., then you DO deserve a reply, and if she doesn’t answer, then at least it is not because of what you wrote; — maybe she didn’t like your profile or photos, and that’s another story.
No-No #2:
Photos: How can I put this softly?
- Could you please not have your photo be one that you took in the bathroom? I mean how surreptitious did you have to be to get a photo of yourself in your house? What is going on there? Yikes.
- And, (again, speaking for myself and women like me): clothes are necessary for people, and a chance to show their good taste, (if they have it).
— Actually, take a selfie in the bathroom without clothes if you want to do that; go right ahead, but don’t be surprised if you elicit the attention of women of a particular kind, the ones of whom I hear the horror stories.
- Can you maybe like smile a little? (for those who don’t smile at all; they look so sad, but not the sad that you want to run and give them a hug).
Be the man that deserves the company of the woman he wants and needs; a woman who will inspire him, encourage him; help him grow into a fuller measure of what he can become. With this in mind, you will not be lazy as you look for company of that quality; you will be focused, even when or if your hopes feel low.
But if you are lazy, (one more time), then don’t be surprised if you have bad results, and be surprised if you have good ones.
No-No #3:
- Do not push to talk or to meet too quickly; this shows impatience, and impatience is a second cousin to aggression, and aggression is scary.
Impatience is a No-No. No one owes anybody anything; everything is a gift to be appreciated; not expected, or worse, demanded.
- Don’t put them in a corner or get temperamental if there isn’t a response, or if the response is one you don’t like. Even if the response is a bad one, getting upset about it is a bad choice and a waste of energy, it is best to ignore it and learn from it if possible.
There are those who, if a swift response doesn’t come, for whatever reason, they write back with a “well??”.
I get it, it can be frustrating, but this is definitely a No-No.
No-No #4:
Lastly:
Don’t be arrogant and belittle types of people: the poorer than you, the less “educated” than you, (if you were so “educated” you wouldn’t be belittling others; that’s having a degree, not education). It is utterly distasteful and you will be surprised at the characters that are actually turned on by this kind of prejudice and vanity.
Yes-Yes-Yes!!
Be kind.
Be nice.
Be genuine.
Be modest.
Be firm but gentle.
Be perceptive.
Be responsive.
Be thoughtful.
Be open-minded.
Be respectful.
Be understanding.
If you are all those things, most likely you are not single anyway. And if you are, you won’t be for long.
Viviana
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