The story of us would be different if we didn’t get attached (addicted), to feeling bad. It sounds counterintuitive that we get addicted to feeling awful, but we do.
This is nonsense at the level of thought, of course, because “who would be that stupid?”, but we all do it.
Are you surprised to learn this?
Did you know that we have the propensity to develop addiction to feeling guilty, shame, inadequate, ugly, unworthy, etc.?
It is quite the disappointment to learn that. But this revelation is necessary if we are to overcome this tendency.
This isn’t the only tendency of our minds and egos that we need to overcome.
We humans have many self-defeating tendencies, and being ignorant about them only makes us prey to them.
Am I saying that the reason we don’t change habits that we really want to change is because we are addicted to how badly and guilty and shameful we feel with the lousy habit instead of the good one? Yes, I am saying all that mouthful.
I’ll be darned.
Self-loathing is the opposite of self-loving and self-honoring. When we self-loath we are in a place of shadows, in a place of half truths and complete lies.
This is no place to live.
We need to know this: self-loathing comes essentially from ignorance about ourselves; we fail to know who and what we are.
I am not saying that this can be cured with a dose of “you are complete and beautiful and awesome as you are and the Universe loves you very much”… even though that is true, because that is too simplistic and it doesn’t mean anything when you are in the pain of hating yourself.
When we are in that painful spot, we need something that will snap us out of it, even if for a second. And you have to be the one that does it, and it will be a simple thing that does it, as simple as telling the accusatory voice:
- “Shut up NOW”
- “You don’t know anything about me”
- “Go to the corner and be quiet”
- “I see you, and you are small and scared”
- “I got you! You are fake!”
Etcetera; you can create your own manner of responding.
We all have these voices, and we are lucky to live in a time when this is pretty much common knowledge.
There was a time when this was cutting edge science, — and good science often has a hard time being received, precisely because it’s good.
So, who would you be without self-loathing??
Please fill in the blanks with all the ideas that come to your mind of how it would transform your life if those destructive voices were shut up forever.
(They may not be shut up forever, but they will be neutralized by our knowing that they aren’t true or legitimate in any way).
To switch them off and never give those nasty, cruel voices a second’s thought… it would be wonderful. Are you worthy of wonderful? Watch who answers that question.
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Viviana Rose — Copyrighted material 2017